Online Dating - Hell on Earth?

**Please note, that some of the names have been changed to protect the single. And that if you are my mother, you should not read this blog. I hope one of my sisters did not send you the link. WARNING. DO NOT READ, MOTHER. Thank you. **

I feel that I've been spending a good amount of time on the Life and Pants sections of my life.. not so much on the Love section. I'm not doing the online dating thing.. I don't meet people through work for obvious reasons (being unemployed and all.. LOL).. I don't really go out much (unless you count my many trips to Zehrs...) so I don't really have the opportunity to meet people or anything.

As I said, I did the online thing for a bit.. but really.. I actually met in person 3 guys (separately, there was nothing kinky going on or anything.... ) and we went out. It was nice and all.. they were pleasant enough... decent conversation. But.... nothing. I was just not attracted to any of them. It's to be expected I guess.

I mean, I am not against the whole "online" thing.. I talk online everyday to various friends who I likely wouldn't speak to as often if I weren't online.. However, I'm concerned. How on earth am I supposed to meet someone. I gave up on the online thing for reasons that will become obvious.

I mean, I have friends I talk to online every day. I have a friend who I speak to daily, who I exchange Christmas gifts with.. we've been doing this for about 8 years or so.. we met through a gaming site and started chatting. He's much younger than me.. more of a "virtual kid" to me than anything (don't get the wrong idea here). But we've never met. We have always lived about an hour away from one another... but have never met and who knows if we will. So I'm not against the whole "online" thing.. but...

With the online dating it's frustrating and weird and .. well.. weird. I don't think I'm asking for anything super out of the ordinary out of a relationship.. but..... many of these guys pretend to be one thing but then are TOTALLY another. Most are perfectly nice guys who just don't meet women in other ways.. i.e. in the same boat I'm in. But then there are the guys who are really just looking for a piece of ass and are pretending to be these "nice guys" to score with women.

Seriously. So, I am on the online dating thingy and I chat with some guy who appears to be somewhat quick witted and by the looks of things has all his own teeth. So he asks for my hotmail addy so we can talk on MSN. This is fine.. for a bit.. then he says he's going to send me something via email. I open it. Yes, it is a picture of his penis. Thank you so much Mr. Hung-like-a-Kitten. So hot right now. SERIOUSLY??!!! Do you REALLY think chicks DIG THIS? (well, maybe some do, but they are all on AFF...) My answer? Block. Delete.

Another guy I'd never ever met... only talked to online.. seemed nice enough. One night out of the blue suggests I come over and stay the night (a little more colourfully than that.)
What the fuck???? When did it become okay to go from "I like AC/DC, pasta and white wine" to "Let's get naked even though I have no idea what you are like in person..." Block. Delete.

Here is another fine example of internet dating.. so .. have been chatting with this guy online.. seems OK. We meet in person at one point. Yeah, that's a great big NO. He continues to invite me out.. as FRIENDS. He apparently has no interest in me that way. Which is good. But we don't end up going out for beers or anything.. but continue to chat online. Till one day he asks again if I'm up for going out.. I decline as I already have plans. Then he says "well I guess I shoulda fucked you when I had the chance."

Are you KIDDING ME????????????

I respond - "Dude, you NEVER had a chance." Then he got all pissy. Good. Serves ya right.

So I ask... am I asking for too much? Are my standards too high? Is this what romance and dating etc has come to?

Like, seriously... I am reasonably good looking, have a good sense of humour and I'm easier than a five year old's homework and I still can't get any action. (Please god do not let my mother be reading this....)

I compiled a list of qualities and attributes and things I like in a guy.

• Funny
• reasonably good looking (at least to me... )
• gainfully employed
• likes to go to concerts
• hang out with friends
• cuddle up on the couch
• likes my kids
• likes PDA's
• Likes "having adventures" (meaning doing silly stuff)
• not afraid to make a fool out of himself (when appropriate)
• would take care of me if i was sick
• Decent dresser
• doesn't need to spend all his time with the boys
• likes movies
• likes my dog
• like to have fun
• thinks I rock.

See? I do not think this is too much to ask. I believe that I hold many of these same qualities. I think I am a pretty nice person who deserves someone who is also pretty kick ass. I think everyone does.

Well, for now... I will have to be happy with complaining about my lack of a lovelife and flirting shamelessly with a boy on the internet (yes, I call all men boys.. I am 12. And no, he is not from online dating, I actually know him in person. But enough about that.) And when it's supposed to happen, it will happen (do you sense a theme here..?)

I suppose it could be worse.... those same guys could have shown me their parts in person... ROFLMAO!!

Life: Hey, it's A-OK

Love: Read above.

Pants: most are too big. This is going well.