Saskatchewan - the final Chapter

The actual SCMA awards show was Sunday Night.

During the day there was a Gospel Brunch with many performances (I could NOT haul ass out off bed to be there at 8.30 AM.. I just couldn't). I did manage to get to the songwriters performances later in the day and saw some cool people perform... J.J. Voss again, Cody Prevost...George Canyon.. Jay Semko (he was in the Northern Pikes.. he sang "Girl With A Problem".. and I'm pretty sure he was looking at me...) among others. It was very much fun. Which was a relief to tell the truth.. Lots of times I am at these things and end up listening to some "not great" artists. By "not great" I mean during their performance I am wishing for the sweet release of death. Or a great quantity of liquor. Or death by liquor. But everyone was awesome this time. SK has some great talent.

Went to the hotel.. got some food (a LOT of food.. they let me get tons at the Ukranian Buffet and take it to my room!! hurray!) and got ready for the show.

The show started at 7... George was hosting. It was really a terrific show.. lots of great musical performances ... happy award winners (Including my super cute and talented friend Darlene Tuleta! yay! FEMALE VOCALIST OF THE YEAR!) Cody Prevost cleaned up.. Show was 3 hours long but it flew by.... then there was the after party.. didn't stay too incredibly late (I was still on Ontario time after all.. ) went back to the hotel and had some beverages with some pretty cool people.. then to bed.

Monday.. Michelle and I headed back to Regina. Didn't see anything super unusual other than when we stopped for gas I noticed bait in the fridge right beside Haagen Dazs. Delish. I'll pass.
Got back to town and opted for a "staying in" type of night... got some wine.. just chillaxin'. Michelle still wasn't feeling well so we were taking it easy.

THEN.. got a call from my real estate agent.. THERE'S AN OFFER ON THE HOUSE! FINALLY. Did paperwork in Saskatchewan and scanned and sent back. The magic of technology (more on the house thing later...)

Tuesday.. didn't do much of anything other than computer stuff, try to write some blogs and get ready to go home. Michelle took me to the airport late that afternoon.. my flight left at 6:15pm... not getting back to Toronto till 11ish but that's ok... I had a little tiny TV to keep me company. And yet another guy who snored.

So, the weekend was good. It was fun to get away, meet some new people and discover some stuff. Always great to hear live music.. and make new friends. But, the bottom line for me is.. there's no place like home. Wherever that may be.... now that I've sold the house.... but that's another story....

Life: Things are moving forward. House is sold (conditionally) and looks like I'll be out of Barrie soon.
Love: Nothing to report at this time.
Pants: I have been a complete slacker yet people are telling me I look good so I'll stick with that.

Adventures In Saskatchewan. Part 3

I was a little tense about my seminar.

I'm a decent public speaker. Actually I'm quite good. I can talk it up with the best of them. I have the gift of gab even though I've never actually kissed the Blarney Stone (I am part Irish).. but still.. they flew me out here to do this.. contrary to some guys I've dated, I DO know what I'm talking about.. but.. just was hoping that people would get something out of what I have to say. Plus, once I got the program I found that there was a full page about me and my seminar. I was feeling some pressure here.. however, I was quite happy that the picture of ME wasn't too large.

Saturday morning arrived.. I got up early enough to shower and such and inadvertantly discover that I have mislabelled my shampoo bottles and ended up putting body lotion on my hair instead of conditioner. Well, at least it would be soft... but....I would imagine this would also have led to a really not very attractive greasy look... so, had to re-wash my hair. Grrrrrrrreat. This day was turning out to be quite stellar thus far. I headed down to the restaurant for breakfast and take my laptop with me for two reasons.. number one is that the internet in my room sucks and also, since I'm eating alone, I figured I could read stuff and not look like a pathetic loser who has no one to eat with. I prefer looking like a pathetic geek who is inseparable from her computer. Hey, that porn's not going to download itself....

I ordered the special as they have free breakfast coupons for me.. I just pay for my coffee. The coffee is just OK. It's weakass. Here's the thing.. I grew up drinking my mom's coffee... and her coffee is STRONG. Like, Lisa Douglas from Green Acres strong. So strong that my sister named it "The Death Brew". So strong that you figure you will be bouncing off the walls for days (here's the tricky part... it's DECAF. LOL) So strong that it makes Chuck Norris wince. Regardless, I'm used to coffee with flavour. Not fancy flavour.. just COFFEE flavour. So, the coffee is no better than the pitiful coffee flavoured water I brewed in my room. *sigh* But it will do. My waitress was very funny and cute and friendly.. took my order and made sure that I was never out of the coffee flavoured H20... Breakfast arrived quickly.. Eggs overeasy, crispy bacon, rye toast and the obligatory hashbrowns. I made short work of it as I am starved (when am I NOT?) and went back to the room to get ready.

On the way I asked the front desk about the shuttle service to the convention centre... this is how I will be getting to my seminar. Shuttle service starts at 5pm apparently. My seminar is at 10.30am. Michelle is in a meeting till at LEAST 10.30am. Yikes. The lovely girl at the front desk offered to call a taxi for me... and she did.. and yes, he can come to pick me up in a half hour.. which is good, because there is only ONE taxi in the whole town. AND he only works from 7am to 11pm.. which will rule out some late night rides for me..

I had a little trouble deciding what to wear, and opted for a kilt and boots. Not so businesslike, but then again, neither am I. And I like it. So do boys. LOL.

I got to the centre and head up to the Jack Pine room to set up my fancy ass powerpoint presentation that I've worked ever so hard on... and there's no projector. I had asked for a projector to hook into my computer.. and was told there was one. Not in this room anyway. I ask one of the staff there.. and she tells me, no, they do not have a projector.. just an overhead. Grrrrrrrrrrreat. I can't do anything other than laugh. It just figures. Well, I set up my computer so that hopefully people can see it (thank goodness my screen is 17 inches) and go to get a coffee. It was somewhat better than the coffee at the hotel so it cheered me up slightly. I go over my presentation and.. wait. So far, I'd had the hair incident, the ride incident and now the projector. I am feeling a wee bit like these are bad signs...

Blake arrives and I briefly show him my powerpoint. Basically, he says.. I should do my presentation and he'll have a story for whatever I'm talking about. He really does, too. After all.. he's done a lot in his life.. knows a lot of people.. and has had many adventures. And he holds the Order of Canada.

Essentially, my presentation is about marketing and branding. Companies use branding all the time to market their "product".. but I find that artists confuse what their "product" IS.. It's NOT the CD... it's themselves. I basically ask them a bunch of questions about what makes them unique... assuming that every single act is on the same playing field, why should your average country listener want to be their fan instead of the next guy? I also give suggestions about how once they know who they are and what their brand is.. how to market that without spending a lot of money.. basically using social media (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, MySpace...).We had a lot of great questions and from everything we heard after the fact, people enjoyed the seminar and got something out of it. Answered a lot of questions, gave out some contact information.. My "work" here is done. The day certainly went a lot better than it seemed like it might.. (did that make sense?)

I headed back to the hotel to get ready for the President's Dinner - which Blake was hosting. Once I'm back in my room I attempt to do some stuff on the internet, but unfortunately the connection SUCKED. Checked with the front desk and they suggested I move rooms to the lower floor. I check out the "new" room with my laptop... and it IS a new room!! It's all refurbished and pretty! Yes, the internet is WAY better here! (actually it was, but I had already decided that even if it wasn't, I was moving.. bad internet is way more acceptable in a pretty room...)

The dinner was a ton of fun.. I got to see some great people that I hadn't seen in YEARS.. the Cockrum sisters, for example.. who did a fabulous job singing the grace.. just beautiful. Got to see my buddy Dave Baker.. who picked up a few awards. George Canyon performed, among many others.. lots of SK artists sang and were awesome.. and of course Blake hosted and was hilarious fun. It was a good night!

But the best part of the evening - aside from having my picture taken with a mountie and the Cockrums.. oh, and the fact that I ate a ton of roast pork.. was that I could finally relax and know that I did a pretty good job. Maybe I'm on to something... ?

Life: Having fun!
Love: I love roast pork, the people of Saskatchewan, and public speaking.
Pants: Nope, I wore a kilt. And then a long skirt for the dinner..

Adventures In Saskatchewan Part Two

The following day, my travelling companion and I must head to the thriving metropolis of Nipawin for the SCMA's. It'a bout a 3.5-4 hour drive so we're thinking if we leave by noonish we have plenty of time. Of course, procrastination girl (that is me) needs to do stuff on the computer - very important to change the FB status regularly and update the Twitter et al - and some other stuff before we leave.

The drive is relatively uneventful except that we forget to hit Tim's before heading out of Dodge... little do I realize that there will be no more good coffee for DAYS. If I had known then.. I would have made Michelle turn around.... Beth + no coffee = cranky. Prior to leaving town I need to make a stop at a Shopper's to pick up some toothpaste and some acetaminophen. The kind with some codeine in it.. So I go up to the pharmacist and ask for some.. and he asks me for ID. ID? crazy! I give him my Ontario health card and feel like one of the people they are watching for on the METH WATCH.. except this time it's "Beth Watch".. ("hey, watch for that chick from Ontario... she likes the HARDCORE acetaminophen...") Buddy takes a while looking me up in their provincial computer system as I am a foreigner.. .I almost wonder if he's not going to serve me! Finally he comes back with the acetaminophen avec codeine and explains that in SK you are only allowed to buy a bottle of 50 every 30 days. Case closed - I will never live in Saskatchewan.

Regardless, headed north to Nipawin and I quickly discovered my fun new game "Let's Take Pictures of weird things on the way to Nipawin". Yeah, I have to work on the title. However, it's like this.. I see weird stuff. I make Michelle stop the car so I can take a picture of it as it amuses me. Then, I share with you.

Saskatchewan is as flat as they say. In case you were wondering. But they do have some "hilly" parts and "valleys". It's just to break up the monotony... Personally, I think some of them are man made.. I think the people of SK took offence at that "watching your dog run away for 2 days" joke. Lots of fun stuff to see.. a giant man made out of tires (at the Tireman Farmers Market...yeah, I don't get it either. But me and friends decided it looks like one of the Blockheads)... there's a baby tire man too.. he's in another pic.

Many interesting signs.. one advertising a town as the home of "Santa Claus Day" which I found oddly amusing as I always thought that that day was called CHRISTMAS and that Jesus invented it.


Then of course there was the Euthanasia sign... It says "Euthanasia - Killing the helpless for Convenience". Wow.
Like, I go through a drive thru for convenience. I'll get fast food for convenience.. or I'll buy that precooked bacon... but pulling the plug.. man, that doesn't really seem like a "convenience" issue. But I digress.

Went through a town called "Star City" (I did not see any celebrities).. saw a bulldozer on a pole (is that where you are supposed to keep them?) and of course the famous "Welcome to Tisdale" sign.. Tisdale is "the land of RAPE and honey".

Yes, I was surprised to see that too. Mind you, it has another meaning..

rape –noun
a plant, Brassica napus, of the mustard family, whose leaves are used for food for hogs, sheep, etc., and whose seeds yield rape oil.


OK I GET that it has another meaning.. but I still thought it odd that it's on the sign. Mind you, I'm betting a LOT of people stop to take pics of it.. maybe it's to get people to stop. I did. It's effective. It's the hometown of Brent Butt of Corner Gas. No wonder he's nuts. He grew up in the land of rape and honey (hopefully not together... that's a CSI episode.. yeah, I'm going to hell).. the best part is the little white CRIMESTOPPERS sign on the left.. see it? There ya go..

We eventually got to Nipawin and to my hotel room .. which of course is across town from where everything is happening. Which kinda bites because Michelle, my lovely friend and chauffeur, must drive me around. And of course she is staying across town. *sigh*
Get my room .. and it looks like an upgraded prison cell.. however they DID let me keep my belts and shoelaces.
It's not so bad. It's clean. That's all I ask. I'm not too fussy. Unless it's camping. I don't do that. The end.
So unpacked.. made some calls.. did some stuff online ... and got ready for the evening.. it was the kickoff party.

It was fun. They had liquor so you know I was happy. Met some people. Had a good time.

Finally met Brenda, who was was one of the Chairs of the host committee who brought me out and she wanted to introduce me to Blake Emmons. He was there to host the dinner on Saturday night.. he was a friend of hers (and many others) and she thought that we should do the seminar together since we appeared to be like minded.

Blake and I met and ended up spending about 2 hours talking. He's got a story for everything. He left home at a young age.. was in the military.. hosted a TV show (Funny Farm.. Canada's Hee Haw in the 70's).. he's been a country music artist, written books and has done many more things. LSS (that stands for Long story short.. which usually means I may ramble on for a while..) he's done it all. He's had a good life. He has made it happen. He holds the Order of Canada for chrissake.

Blake has written a "children's" book called "If You Think... YOU CAN DO IT!" It's very common sense, yet an inspiration. All about positive thinking... and not giving up. Something I've been trying to do for most of my life. He and I talked about why we were there this weekend. I think I was there.. to get some inspiration.

Life: Still figuring it out
Love: There will be no love connections this weekend.. LOL
Pants: They let me keep my belts. Good thing. My pants are all too big.

Adventures in Saskatchewan Part One

I was invited to go to Saskatchewan to give a seminar at the Saskatchewan Country Music Awards. "How did this happen?" you ask.. "what on earth could you possibly have to say to these people other than your smart ass crap and various ramblings?"

Well, I had been at the SCMA's 9 years ago with the ex (he was hosting) and I guess made such an impression (not sure if it was good or bad).. they asked me to come back and .. talk. I put together a seminar outline for them on what I'd yak about.. and long story short .. they agreed to bring me out.

And that is how I ended up pulling an all nighter in order to catch an 8:30am flight. I had had to drive from Barrie to KW to drop off daughter and dog.. and elected to just stay up all night as I had to leave at 5:30am. That, and I wasn't finished my power point presentation (It was NEARLY done.. I just wasn't completely satisfied with it... )

Working on this at 3AM I went looking for a picture of the Road Hammers.. and discovered through their website that they were going to be in REGINA the same night I was!! Woo hoo! Let the adventure begin! I emailed Clayton (figuring he'd get it in the AM)...which led to email exchange at 3-4am and me ending up on the guestlist for that night.

At 5.30am I headed out of town and discovered that my fave Tim's in Waterloo is NOT 24 hours. Who knew? Finally grabbed a coffee, cash, gas and headed out. Met with a bit of traffic around Mississauga (shocker) and then finally got to the airport ... parked.. B39 I drilled into my brain so as not to forget where I parked the Elantra.. and headed in.. .

It was PACKED. Insanely! Who knew so maybe people wanted to go to Regina!! Obviously they have heard of my stellar seminar.... LOL. I can tell you this.. I really enjoy the machine check in thingys. Makes it fast if you know what you are doing (and they have a guy there to help you if you don't.. ) I mean, I'm a people person, but sometimes I enjoy the lack of human contact.. i.e. bank machines... self checking.. stuff like that.. (I think this could be another blog)

Got checked in.. and waited. Answered a few emails on the BB ...then got on the plane. Thankfully I had an aisle seat as I ended up sitting to a "full figured" gentleman on the flight.. who thoughtfully warned me that he snored and to just poke him if he got out of hand. Yikes! At least I wouldn't have to climb over him. And on the bright side there are little tiny tv's on the seats. I love that. I looked at the movies and such and elected to watch "Yes Man" as I felt like watching funny. It was pretty good.. I'd recommend it. I laughed out loud. Then I watched several episodes of 30 Rock. Hysterical. Yeah. I like that show.

But I digress...

Arrival Regina.. my friend Michelle is there to meet me...hurray! We pick up my luggage.. I text the daughter to tell here I'm safe.. and we head out to the great flatness known as Saskatchewan. First off.. I'm starved so we must go eat. We hit a Smitty's and get some food ... I am a big fan of all day breakfast.. then have to go to Winner's to buy me some socks as I've realized I forgot to pack them... then a search for an internet cable (Michelle does not have wireless..) and then we head back to her place. "Wow, Beth, you are so super exciting" you say....oh yes. Yes I am. Sort of. As we wander Michelle continually marvels at how I like to take pictures of random things that really don't make much sense. Like, the World of Trout Outlet. I was unaware that this is how one would purchase trout. I assumed a grocery store would be the place. Nope, way better deals at the outlet. Apparently.

The rest of the day is spent doing some work.. having a nap.. yadda yadda. Then we get ready to go see the Road Hammers who are playing at the Drink in downtown Regina. Woohoo! I love these guys.. we head out.. and get to the bar. "I'm on the guestlist" I say to the cerebrally challenged security dude. "Uh, I can't find your name".. he says.. "who put you on the list?"... "Clayton" I say.. he then looks at me like he has no idea who the hell Clay is.. but he waves me in so it's all good. I think I could have said "Simon Cowell" and he would have let me in.

First stop.. .beer. Yum. Now we're cooking with gas... Show starts.. The opening act is a guy named J.J. Voss who was really good .. quite enjoyed him. At first I'm thinking that guys are really digging his music as he had a bit of a crowd around the merch table.. not so much.. it had more to do with the merch chick.. Standing there in heels, baby tank top and booty shorts... all embossed with J.J.'s logo.. which made me think.. if you caught something from her, would that be considered viral marketing? Also, made me think that she must be awfully cold..... I was wearing a leather jacket.....

During the first set, got a text from Clay so went to visit with the boys on the tour bus.. lovely visit and chat.. fun fun! Great to see Jason and Clayton and Chris.. Had a chance to visit and catch up a wee bit... Sweetest guys in the world. Then we went to check out their show.. and they ROCKED. I love them. New tunes are awesome. Had to leave a bit early as Michelle wasn't feeling great.. headed "home".. had a drink and headed to bed.

www.theroadhammers.com

So far, Saskatchewan is very fun. More adventure awaits!

Life: Regina is fun.
Love: I love beer.
Pants: Too much beer makes pants tight. I am off the wagon for the weekend. Hey, it's the SCMA's....

Honey vs. Vinegar

I don’t understand people who feel the need to be rude.. I mean.. what’s the point really? Sure, everyone has their bad moods and bad days and all.. but really, why must SOME people just be jerks?

I called a wrong number the other day, and the person on the other end acted as if I had committed some heinous crime. Seriously.. I misdialed.. they answered.. I realized I had the wrong number and said so. At which point I wanted to check the number to see if I had dialled wrong ... I mean, did I dial incorrectly or did I actually have the wrong number..? But before I could even CHECK, Mr. Crankypants on the other end practically screams “YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!!”.. and then slammed the phone down (speaking of which.. in these days of cordless phones, how does one slam a phone?) Dude, like .. seriously.. I didn’t egg your house, kick your dog, sleep with your wife or key your car... I just made a freakin’ mistake. As it turns out, I DID dial wrong.. I flipped the 2 last numbers.. and I was extremely polite about it.. so I don’t understand how that warrants such rudeness. It almost makes me want to call him back, just to tick him off further. ALMOST... When I get a wrong number, I’m very friendly about the whole exchange. I mean, why be rude?

I was talking to a guy the other day who moved to Canada from another country.. he was commenting that in his hometown, people would walk down the street and say hi to one another ... just being friendly. He tried that once he got to Canada.. walking down the streets of Toronto ...just saying good morning to people on his way to work.. and people looked at him like he was crazy or wearing a clown suit or something. In fact, on several occasions people have gotten angry with him.. I guess they think he’s “up to something”. But, he says he still TRIES to make eye contact and say good morning to people.. most of the time they still look at him like he’s nuts.. but it makes him feel good when someone responds positively ... so he keeps at it.

One time I stopped for gas and then went into pay...as I opened the door, a man barrelled past me, bumping into me and didn’t even apologize. When I got to the counter, the cashier was trying very hard not to cry. At first I acted like nothing was wrong.. but then felt so badly for her I finally told her that I hoped her day got better... and that even though things seemed really rough at the moment, I was sure it would be ok. I was assuming that it was Jackass McBumpy who had something to do with it, but wasn’t sure.. I wasn’t trying to pry... I just was hoping that by being nice to her, that it would make her day a little better. A few days later I went to the same gas station and she was in a much better mood.. happy and cheerful. And she told me that yes, that customer was rude to her because the car wash wasn’t working. Wow. Because that is totally going to pretty much ruin your life if your car isn’t clean RIGHT NOW. And it’s also likely that it was the only car wash in town, too. Holy over reaction Batman.

Long story short, he flipped on her because he had paid for the carwash at the pump...but then discovered that the carwash was out of order. So he went insane. A grown man, screaming at a 16 year old girl because he couldn’t wash his car. Yup, makes total sense. She gave him back his money.. but apparently calling a teenager stupid and using other expletives to express his frustration at having a dirty car is completely logical. Then of course running into me on his way out the door without an apology... yup, probably made him feel like a real manly man.
I can remember when I was a teenager working at Wendy’s... if someone was a jerk going through the drive thru, some of the guys working the grill were known for tampering with the burgers. Yikes.

I make it a practice that even if I am hugely ticked about crappy service I ensure that when I complain I do so in a kindly manner. In fact, expressing my disappointment rather than anger seems to get me way further ahead than if I call and freak. In fact, I’ve received hotel upgrades, free channels on my cable and other stuff as a result of just being NICE when I complain. Plus, you never know who you’re dealing with. I once went into a clothing store looking all kind of dressed down, and they treated me like I had some sort of contagious skin rash... avoiding me and not even coming to the counter while I waited. Surprise Ms. Snotty Stuckup!! I was a secret shopper for a retail awards thingamajiggy.. and let me tell you.. they scored in the negatives... I am like the Simon Cowell of secret shoppers.

I believe that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she treats their waitress. I was out for dinner recently with someone who was extremely friendly and courteous with the waiter. I love it when people treat their waitstaff nicely. Made me like him even more than I already did. Nothing ticks me off more than someone who treats a server like “the hired help”. I was out on a date one time with a guy who wasn’t happy with his meal and he took it out on the waitress. Needless to say, not only did he not get any type of good night kiss but I never went out with him again. Or spoke to him for that matter. And I certainly hope that the waitress at least spit in his food while in the kitchen.

Life: Well, it's getting interesting
Love: Nothing to report
Pants: I need some new ones. These ones are too big.

For a Good Time Call John...

Hanging out on the weekend with the daughter... she was supposed to have plans with her friend, but they fell through for various reasons. It was her last weekend in B-town, so decided that we would head out on the town.. just for something to do...

We ended up heading downtown to sit on a patio because the weather was nice. We ended up picking one which .. well.. let's just say it wasn't the most glamourous place in town.. Ok. It was dirt ass. But we were only there for A drink.. so it would do.

We ordered a pitcher of beer and sat to have a chat.. there were a bunch of other people on the small patio.. a bunch of guys.. a couple.. some stragglers.. We sat there and were talking about a friend of the daughter's who's had a tough year.. just enjoying out chat .. then one of guys on the patio asked if it would be okay if he sat with us as most of the seats elsewhere were taken... we're polite, so we said sure.

This of course opened the door for a couple of other guys to head toward our table to "keep us company". They seemed harmless enough so we let them.. the three of them all knew each other and had been joking around.. 2 of them worked together.. one of whom immediately started hitting on my 19 year old daughter.. while his buddy decided that I was the woman of his dreams. The third one also expressed interest in me. At least that's what I gathered when he told me that he and I would be making out by the end of the night.

Various points to ponder... I'm not sure if this works with some chicks.. but having guys tell me about their brushes with the law, just doesn't make me hot. I think some guys take the "girls like bad boys" theory a little too far. As well, having guys tell me about what a bitch their ex wife is and how he's going to screw her over large.. just doesn't really get me hot and bothered. I know.. maybe I'm setting my standards too high. I'm just funny that way.

Oh! and getting into a fight at the bar, also, not really appealing.. am I too fussy?

Oddly, the 29 year old guy from Trinidad did not appeal to my 19 year old... perhaps it was the story about how he beat up his stepdad with a two by four... or the pictures of his illegitimate children... for some reason, she was not at all interested in going to his house for curried goat the next day. Yeah, I know.. weird.

Suffice to say, once we finished up our beer, we hit the road.. but not without getting the guys phone numbers... "Just because.. call John..." the note said. I used it to wrap my chewed up gum. Guess he'll be waiting by the phone.

Life: Going to Saskatchewan soon. Adventure awaits!
Love: I did not love these guys.. LOL.
Pants: Yes, I was wearing some.

Dreams CAN Come True.. but I'm not sure I want ALL of them to...

I’ve been having a lot of weird dreams lately.. like.. for 45 years that I recall. I believe that sometimes your dreams tell you things that your subconscious knows but you’re not paying attention to in real life... either that or I’ve been watching far too much “Medium”.

I looked up some dream analysis websites to figure out if my dreams had any hidden meanings or messages for me...

When I was a kid, I had a recurring dream... the house at the end of my street was abandoned.. kinda haunted.. and there was a knight on a horse riding around guarding the house .. a goose inside (apparently laying golden eggs).. and my friends and I were trying to get to the house to get the goose or the eggs from what I recall... According to the website I consulted. the analysis of this dream is as follows..

Knight -- To see a knight in your dream, signifies honor, protection and security.
Goose -- To see a goose in your dream, symbolizes fertility and motherly love. The goose may also represent a message from your unconscious.
Eggs-- To see or eat eggs in your dream, symbolizes fertility, birth and your creative potential. It indicates that something new is about to happen.

This is a dream I had around the age of ... say.. seven. Apparently my subconscious mind was trying to tell me about fertility.. hey brain! A little early to be thinking about that, don’tcha think? And the “something new is about to happen”? I was seven. Something NEW happens every freakin’ day when you’re a kid.

I’ve been trying to remember my dreams, but I kind of suck at it.. but the other night I did dream that I was eating pasta .. someone else was there (I don’t think it was a celebrity.. but it could have been Ashton Kutcher... I think THIS means I`ve been reading too many Twitter updates from @aplusk..)
To see food in your dream, represents physical and emotional nourishment and energies. The different types of food can symbolize a wide range of things. Generally, fruit is symbolic of sensuality. Frozen foods may imply your cold emotions and frigid ways. Eating certain foods refers to qualities that you need to incorporate within your own self.
Noodles --To see noodles in your dream, signifies an abnormal appetite and desire.
I haven't been thinking of frozen foods.. wink wink... and they didn't have a “pasta” topic.. I`m not sure what qualities pasta represents... perhaps it “signifies an abnormal appetite and desire” for more pasta. Which could explain my large ass.

The other night I remember that in part of my dream is that I stuck my hand in my pocket and there was a lit cigarette in it and when I pulled my arm out there was a burn hole in my sleeve. The burning “indicates that you are experiencing some intense emotions and/or passionate sexual feelings. There is some situation or issue that you can no longer avoid and ignore. Alternatively, it may suggest that you need to take time off for yourself and relax. Consider also how you may be feeling "burned out" or "burned up".
Hmmmmm, not sure I need the “time off”.. however, the passionate sexual feelings...
To dream that there is a hole in your clothing, indicates that there are some flaws in your thinking or thought process. You may need to undergo an image makeover.
Maybe I’ll have better luck with these passionate sexual feelings if I get that makeover... and as far as the flaws in my thinking.. I don't think anyone will disagree with that ....

A common dream and one that I had recur when I was younger was finding myself in public wearing pajamas... If you dream that you are wearing pajamas in public, then it means that you are unaware of some important that may be right in front of you. You may be just drifting through life without fully paying attention to what is going on around you.
Huh? Did you say something...?

Flying is another one.. To dream that you are flying, signifies a sense of freedom where you had initially felt restricted and limited. Or it could mean you wish you could fly ....or be a super hero...

Around the time of my birthday I had a dream that we were discussing astrology and I was saying that I was an Aries...
To dream that someone is an Aries, suggests new beginnings and growth. I hope so!!
It is representative of your leadership. Hurray!
Alternatively, the dream may indicate some mental problem. THIS is more likely...

I have often dreamt of David Letterman.. his whacky stunts.. his charming demeanour.. the funny things he says..
To see a celebrity in your dream, represents your beliefs and understanding about him or her. Something in you waking life has triggered these similar beliefs and feelings. It is not uncommon that your obsession with a certain celebrity may carry over onto your dream world.
OR it could mean that I once again fell asleep with the TV on... but that doesn’t mean I am NOT obsessed with David Letterman. I still can’t believe he married that other woman.. whatever...however, me and Ashton Kutcher eating pasta could be indicative of my Twitter obsession....

I often dream about my family.. I guess because I talk to them and stuff.. OR it could be this..
To see your own family in your dream, represents security, warmth and love. It could also symbolize bitterness, jealousy, or rivalry, depending on your relationship with your family. Alternatively, it could mean that you are overly dependent on your family, especially if the family members are in your recurring dreams .
So it could mean that I either that I love my family or our relationship is hideously bitter. Wow. Thanks Dream Analysis for that wicked and incredibly precise insight.

I have a dog.. so of course she’s going to show up in the dreams.. and usually she’s barking in real life.. sooo....
To see a dog in your dream, symbolizes intuition, loyalty, generosity, protection, and fidelity. The dream suggests that your strong values and good intentions will enable you to go forward in the world and bring you success. Alternatively, it indicates a skill that you have ignored or forgotten. If the dog is vicious and/or growling, then it signifies some inner conflict within yourself. It may indicate betrayal and untrustworthiness. To see a happily barking dog in your dream, symbolizes pleasures and much social activity. If the dog is barking ferociously, then it represents your habit of making demands on people and controlling situations around you. It could also mean unfriendly companions. I’ll be listening to the “good” options...
To dream that you are dressing up your dog, signifies your attempts to cover up your own character flaws and habits. Sooo.. what if you actually DO dress up your dog in real life? What’s THAT saying..? hmmmmm

Suffice to say, I don't think my crazy dreams of my dog barking at Dave, Ashton and I while we eat pasta in a haunted house are at all prophetic.. which makes me wonder about the chick on Medium.. if a barking dog represents lots of social activity.. maybe her seeing people dead means she's just going to buy a new dress.... I mean, one of my dreams that I always remember was that I had a baby.. (I had this dream at about 16).. but my baby was made out of a milk bottle and had clothes pins for legs (I don't know who the father of THAT would have been... ) If you can figure that one out you get a prize.... I think most of the time dreams are just a continuation of stuff that is going on in your life.. and various thoughts you've had while awake. But in case they ARE fortunetelling, I'm hoping to dream of an asparagus omelet tonight... right after I find plenty of eggs in the henhouse...

Asparagus -- To see asparagus in your dream, denotes prosperous times.

Eggs -- To see or eat eggs in your dream, symbolizes fertility, birth and your creative potential. It indicates that something new is about to happen.
To find a nest filled with eggs in your dream, signifies some financial gain; the more abundant and bigger the eggs, the more significant the gain.

Life: Still plugging away

Love: Nothing to report other than my unrequited love for David Letterman.

Pants: If I go on the asparagus and egg diet, I think I could lose lots of weight, but I think I'll smell funny....

You Can't Judge A Book by It's Cover...

She's 47, never married, never been kissed... and is unemployed. Yet, Susan Boyle is now one of the biggest names in entertainment because of her audition on Britain's Got Talent . Millions of people have seen it through various YouTube links... likely even a few million more by the time I finish writing this...

She's always wanted to be a singer but has spent most of her adult life taking care of her ailing mother. She lives with her cat. And when the judges looked at her walk on the stage, two of them admittedly figured she'd be a washout. (Simon CLAIMED he knew she'd be excellent. Suuuuuure, Simon) Then she opened her mouth and totally blew them away.. as well as millions of "regular" people around the world and tons of celebrities... she's already been on Larry King and she's scheduled to be on Oprah soon.

So here is this woman who by the looks of things didn't really have a ton going for her.

Forty seven, lives in Scotland with her cat, unemployed, grew up with a learning disability.. etc etc..

But she didn't count herself out. She believed in herself.. because seriously she COULD have totally cacked. Nerves get to people. But she believed she could do well.. hell, she was only trying to get to be one of the contestants on the show and suddenly she's a worldwide singing sensation!

Which makes me think... If a 47 year old Scottish woman can basically start her life over.. can TRY... be brave enough to put herself out there.. perhaps face ridicule on national tv... then perhaps I can learn a lesson from this and start my life over. I don't even have tv cameras on me.

Dream big. Never give up hope. Dreams DO come true. Miracles CAN happen. You just have to TRY. Or rather, I have to try. I just have to BELIEVE....in myself.

You really can't judge a book by it's cover. Sure, I'm a 45 year old who's unemployed and lives with her dog... But I'm starting out a little ahead of Susan.. I can't sing like that.. but I have some talents.. plus, I'm 2 years younger.. and at least I HAVE been kissed... ;)

Life: The moon is going into Aries.. it's spring. Time to start over.

Love: Think it all starts with self love. I'll start with that.

Pants: Working on it.

What Would Bono Do?

Happy Easter. It's the holiday of chocolate, eggs, bunnies, springtime and, according to my friend Gord, Zombie Jesus.

Easter (Greek: Πάσχα) is the most important annual religious feast in the Christian liturgical year.[1] According to Christian belief, Jesus was resurrected from the dead three days[2] after his crucifixion. Christians celebrate this resurrection on Easter Day or Easter Sunday[3] (also Resurrection Day or Resurrection Sunday), two days after Good Friday and three days after Maundy Thursday.

Every Easter I think of when I was a kid.. and my mom bought us new dresses and little white gloves.. and honest to goodness Easter bonnets.. It is the true beginning of spring for me. Crocuses on the lawn... egg hunts.. big baskets of jelly beans and candy...

I do give up something for Lent (this year.. white wine.. yes, a true sacrifice). Many give up chocolate.. seems appropriate.. and did you ever notice that "Roll Up the Rim" starts right before Ash Wednesday? Yup, and ends the week of Easter... Coincidence? I think not..

The Easter Bunny (or Easter Hare) is a mythical character depicted as an anthropomorphic rabbit. In legend, the creature brings baskets filled with colored eggs, candy and toys to the homes of children on the night before Easter. The Easter Bunny will either put the baskets in a designated place or hide them somewhere in the house for the children to find when they wake up in the morning.
The Easter Bunny is very similar in trait to its Christmas holiday counterpart,la la Santa Claus, as they both bring cute, fun gifts to good children on the night before their respective holiday. Its origin mentioned in print as early as 1620;[1] can be traced to the German fertility goddess Ēostre.[2].

This year for Easter I'm spending it as always. with my family.. going to my sisters in Hamilton and we'll be doing a combo Easter/Birthdays thing. Should be fun.. plus I get a cake and gifts so that's pretty cool.

So in all these reflections of Easter Celebrations... I've looked up various definitions.. of the holiday itself.. and the Easter bunny.. and NO WHERE do they make reference to the Easter BONO. Nope, nothing. Which makes me wonder.. WHAT the heck is with this?? The Easter story told through the music of U2? COME ON. What's next? The story of the Baby Jesus told a la High School Musical? Hmmmm..

What WOULD Bono do...?

Life: It's Easter. Spring. Awakenings.. Renewals.. Rebirth. New Beginnings. At least I hope so.
Love: Get to see my family today. I love them.
Pants: Today, I will wear a skirt.

Yet Another Email Quiz...

I kinda like 'em. So I do them .. and I DO like to read others' answers... so I'm doing this one.. cause it has some questions I've not answered...

1. If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be? Well.. if I won the lottery I would build my own neighbourhood and stack it full of people I have fun with. I'd pick somewhere in the Waterloo region as I'm pretty sure that's what my kids would dig.

2. What's your favorite article of clothing? hmmmm.. anything that makes me look skinny. and the most expensive piece of clothing I own - my leather jacket. Oh, kilt and hooker boots.

3. Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex? I like nice eyes and good teeth. A great smile. (these are my politically correct answers.)

4. What's the last CD that you bought? The White Album by the Beatles. One of my faves of all time.

5. Where's your favorite place to be? Anywhere I am having fun. Or my comfy bed.

6. Where's your least favorite place to be? Standing in line. Stuck in traffic. Living in a cardboard box.

7. What's your favorite place to be massaged? Neck and back. (again, politically correct) I could use some neck massage right now.... seriously.

8. Strong in mind or strong in body? Is there a third option? How about "strong in language"? "Strong in opinion"? uh... mind. although I do have pretty nice pipes.

9. What time do you wake in the morning? Depends.. sevenish.

10. What's your favorite kitchen appliance? The microwave has some serious appeal, though I would likely have to say... coffee maker.. Oh! the whippy milky thing from Ikea is also good.. no no.. coffee maker...

11. What makes you really angry? Way too much, probably. I really hate people who won't listen to me when I know I'm right. I'm not right all the time or anything, and I'll be the first to admit when I'm wrong... but when I know I'm right, you need to listen or there will be problems. I also hate bad drivers, and that means just about everyone else on the road.

12. If you could play any instrument, what would it be? Guitar or Piano. I've had lessons for both. I just suck at the follow through.

13. Favorite color? Red. No question.

14. Do you believe in afterlife? As in, "Heaven?" Yeah, I do. More believe in reincarnation though.

15. Favorite children's book? Anything by Dr. Seuss and "I'll Love You Forever"... and.. "I'll Promise I'll Find You".

16. What is your favorite season? Spring.

17. What's your least favorite household chore? Anything to do with yard work. Mowing, raking leaves, spreading barkdust. It's all one big suckfest.

18. If you could have one super power, what would it be? Telekinesis... or flying.

19. If you have a tattoo, what is it? An Aries symbol. It's on my back. I'm going to get a dragon symbol sometime soon.

20. Can you juggle? Despite my "how to juggle" book.. I suck. two items max.

21. The one person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to? My grandmother from my dad's side.

22. What's your favorite day? Depends on the week. Likely Sunday.

23. What's in the trunk of your car? An emergency kit.. some blankets for the dog.. and a bucket with random stuff in it.

24. Which do you prefer, sushi or hamburger? That's a hard one. But I'll go sushi.

25. Of the people you e-mailed this to, who's most likely to respond? Since I'm not emailing it to anyone, I don't expect anyone to really respond at all.

Today is my Birthday

And I'm not super happy about it.

I'm now Forty Freakin' Five. And my life is in "flux". Not working full time.. haven't sold my house yet... so I'm still living in Barrie and not feeling super great about the birthday.

I mean, when I started this blog.. it was to chronicle my journey.. my quest to obtain gainful employment, perhaps find a "romantic partner".. and get in better shape and lose some weight.

Life: So far, I've sent out tons of resumes.. a couple of offers (turned them down).. and some interviews.. but... no breaktrough yet. I keep feeling like I'm close... but......

Love: Well.. long story short.. most of my relationships seem to be online. Partly because I live in Barrie and the people I have "relationships" with are elsewhere. Yes, there's a cute boy online... but at this point, my top priority is selling my house and getting a job.. but having fun once in a while is good too.. ;)

Pants: I've been slacking with the working out lately.. however.. this part of my life has gone better.. all of my clothes are too big though .. LOL.

Needless to say, I'm not really where I wanted to be at forty freakin' five.. So I feel like a bit of a failure. At times it's tough to keep a positive attitude, keep my chin up.. keep moving forward. And so I know it's tough for some of my friends I speak with every day to deal with my sometimes depressive state...

However, I have to keep my mind focussed on getting ahead.. . and thinking positively...applying for jobs.. and trying to think of possible solutions. After all, I'm the only one who can get me out of this situation.

In the meantime, I have a lot of people who love me a lot and are willing to help if they can. I received hundreds of birthday wishes on my Facebook wall for my birthday... which certainly made me feel special. And I got a lot of emails and phone calls as well... A few friends are making birthday plans for later in the week... I'm thankful I have a lot of people in my life who seem to think I'm worth the effort.

Didn't do much for the day.. it SNOWED on my birthday (which seems to be some kind of cosmic joke gift from the powers that be..).. then picked up some food for dinner and a birthday cheesecake.. the most fun I had all day was shovelling actually.. took the daughter for a ride on the scoop .. also known as the "fabulous slide ride"... LOL. But it was fun being with the daughter.. so that's all that matters.

I'm hopeful that forty freakin' five turns out better than forty freakin' four. I have some birthday wishes to make...

Life: Things could always be worse... hopefully it doesn't get that way!
Love: Friends and family who love me. That is enough for now.
Pants: Gotta get some pants that fit.. I'm sure my family will be getting me some b-day gift cards at Winners...

My Little Corner of the Twitterverse...

I got me one of those "Twitter" accounts.. just to jump on the latest social media craze... plus I like to keep up to date with what the kids are doing..

Really, it's one of those things.. it's a hot topic.. so I felt I should be all over it. I signed up.. and THEN WHAT?

You are supposed to have the twittering go to your cell phone by text. Well, first of all.. I do not have unlimited texting. So I declined on that one.. I only get the twitters when I am on the computer. Secondly... what do I put in the little tiny box? You are limited to 140 characters and as you know, I'm long winded...

You're just supposed to write whatever it is you're doing.. So my first tweet was "surfing".. I was not too sure what to put in there.. my second was "waiting for the coffee to finish brewing"..

Here are some of my random tweets...

..made really crappy coffee this morning and had a Coldplay song stuck in my head. THAT is the sign of a bad morning. LOL
..needs to make some changes...
..reconnecting with old friends ...
..laying on the couch and eating cookies...
..would like the caffeine injected directly into a major artery. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
..is trying to write something funny. And wearing pajamas.
...planning on barbequing on the party-o this weekend... mmmmmm love this weather
...working on a plan.. and planning on working... *fingers crossed*
...thinking it's probably good that I don't have any romance planned for today seeing as i just ate a bushel of garlic in that caesar salad..
....requiring injections of cash, caffeine and comedy... in that order........

I feel pressured to come up with something entertaining.. after all, I have listed in my one line "bio" that I am a "professional smartass". And I REFUSE to have my Facebook status and Twittering be the same thing.. I feel it's almost like cheating.. So now I have to come up with lots of funnyisms all day every day..

I think I find it fun more so for what OTHER people post.. there are a bunch of celebrities "Twittering".. some themselves and others have people do it for them... I am following (like everyone else apparently..) Demi Moore (@mrskutcher) Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk).. just because it amuses me.. and of course.. Sean Combs (@iamdiddy) who apparently NEVER sleeps.. I started following them out of curiosity .. wondering if it was really them.. and they SEEM to be.. the constant updates are interesting.. I seriously don't see how they have the time (mind you, you know they are twittering from their diamond encrusted iPhones... not from an Acer laptop on the dining room table..)

One weekend @iamdiddy said he was going LIVE and sent a link as to where he was and what he was doing .. so I clicked it.. and it's HIM at some club having fun.. waving.. LOL. Just amuses me is all.

I am also following a number of my friends and people I know.. it's fun to see what they are doing.. saying.. I prefer the ones that either say something I'm going to really think about.. or amuse me greatly.. or the ones who send information.. links and such that might be of some interest.. I recently received a link from a news station.. and it was an article about a particular disease. A friend suffers from this illness so I passed the link along.. hopefully it helps.. I do know that they at least found it interesting..

Every day I get someone adding me.. following me (isn't this actually cyber stalking once you think about it??)... that I say "huh? who is THAT?"... and it appears to be some kind of spambot thing that was triggered because I said the word "wine" or "porn" in my post.... I dislike the people who are on it to try to SELL me something.. I do not need your psychic readings, get rich quick schemes, or handmade hemp t-shirts with images of Che Guevara on the front...

I think it has it's benefits as a marketing tool.. communications tool.. and just staying connected with friends.. but I'm not a fan of the hard core sales pitch aspect that some have gone with.. and so they'll be deleted from my "Twitterverse".... Much of the time, I find that people that I actually KNOW (these people are called "FRIENDS") are funnier or more interesting than the professionals or celebrities... @Hosehead67 and @marconibaloney are most often far more amusing (and post more often) than a couple of professional comedians I have on my list.. and I often find @knealemann more enlightening or motivating than @tonyrobbins.... and one of my very favourites is @postsecret... I'm addicted to it.. I can get postsecret updates more often than just Sundays...

Plus, I've made some new "friends".. @IKnowKyleFord is hilarious... and @theh2hproject is trying to change the world.. add him!! and check out his website.. http://www.theh2hproject.org ...

I'm still getting the hang of it.. and trying to figure out if I can DO something with it other than cyber stalk Perez Hilton (@perezhilton)... for the time being.. I'm just in it for the comedy... and the fun...

(@Hosehead 67) Everytime I crack that line about the Yankees pulling their Wang today I get another porn star following me on here...hmmmm....
LMAO!

Life: You can follow me on Twitter... @evilgenius6
Love: Nothing to report.
Pants: Pyjama pants at the moment, thanks.

50 Crazy Questions

50 Crazy Questions

1. What color is your toothbrush? I have several.. the one I use most often is pink and white.. my "travelling" one is purple and white. Both vibrate.
2. Name one person who made you smile today. Katy of course. She is hilarious... and a cute boy.....
3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Having a lovely conversation ..... with a cute boy.
4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Eating, of course. Drinking wine.
5. What is your favorite candy bar? Depends on my mood. I like all Hershey's.. Kit Kats, Crunchies.. anything but Big Turk.
6. Have you ever been to a strip club? Yes, but only when I'm the feature...
7. What is the last thing you said aloud? "Oh my"
8. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate.
9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Wine. Birthday celebrations begin tonight!
10. Do you like your wallet? Yes, it's red. Like most of my things.
11. What was the last thing you ate? Wine. oh, I mean... crackers.
12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? Nope.. will wait for birthday gifts from the family....
13. The last sporting event you watched? Does American Idol count? Uh... couldn't even tell ya.
14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? butter and salt
15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? a cute boy
16. Ever go camping? I would rather poke out my eyes with a marshmallow stick.
17. Do you take vitamins daily? I try to but I tend to forget
18. Do you go to church every Sunday? No. It's probably why God is punishing me.
19. Do you have a tan? No, I am Snow White.
20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? Yes, most of the time. Lai Lai's sesame chicken. *drool*... oh, and Yui Shang chicken.. delish.
21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? Depends on if it's in a cup bottle or can.
22. What did your last text message say? I don't think I should use that type of language here... ;)
23. What are you doing tomorrow? Cleaning the house.. then driving to KW.. likely couching and hanging out. Hopefully seeing Jenn!!
24. What are you wearing? A parrot and an eyepatch. Lipstick and heels. French Maid's Uniform. Cheerleader outfit. Kilt and hooker boots. Ok, actually.. a tee shirt that reads "I <3>
25. Look to your left, what do you see? Pictures of my friends. :)
26. What color & make is your watch? Black.. No idea what make. it's cheap.
27. What do you think of when you hear the word Australia? Keith Urban. Duh.
28. What is your birthstone? Diamond
29. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive thru..
30. What is your favorite number? 6... and anything divisible by 3.
31. Who's the last person you talked to on the phone? Well, on Skype... a cute boy. :)
32. Any plans today? I had contemplated world domination but then I got this quiz and got all sidetracked. Its late, going to bed soon
33. How many states/provinces/countries have you lived in? Just the one.
34. Biggest annoyance right now? Not having a job. And some stuff stuck in a molar.
35. Last song you listened to? Rocky Raccoon by the Beatles...
36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes, but why would I want to? Is this some sort of weird sobriety test?
37. Do you have a maid service clean your house? Oh for sure, the butler usually just lets her in... are you on crack?
38. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Black pointy hooker boots. It's why I have so many pairs...
39. Are you jealous of anyone? Yes. It's one of the seven deadly sins. I know. Not a particular person.. more like, a group of people. Okay, you got me. It's the Harlem Globetrotters.
40. Is anyone jealous of you? Of course. LOL (that is sarcasm)
41. Do you love anyone? Yup. Lots. Katy & Josh.. and all my friends...
42. Do any of your friends have children? yes indeed!
43. What do you usually do during the day? Computer stuff.. write stuff.. clean.. eat...think about what I'll eat next...
44. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? Hate is a pretty strong word... I hate rude people, those who are intolerant... unkind people.. but even then.. probably just strongly dislike.
45. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? Yes. a lot..
46. What color is your car? Red, just like my living room, bedroom.. wallet.. blackberry.. and most other things..
47. Do you like cats? Yes. and dogs.
48. Are you thinking about someone right now? Yup... oh my... ;)
49. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Nope. But I live near Wonderland..
50. How did you get your worst scar? Most of my scars are likely on my head so you wouldn't see them... other than that.. I have a scar from the emergency C Section giving birth to Josh.. I have a scar on my back from hitting the corner of a desk.. one in the middle of my forehead where my sister scratched off a chicken pock.. lots on my knees (get your mind out of the gutter...) but nothing too dramatic...


Life: Well, my birthday is in mere days... so feeling kinda melancholy about that.
Love: There's a cute boy. That is all.
Pants: I am wearing track pants at the moment.. still maintaining.. haven't been working hard enough to lose anymore.. hoping to switch it up now that the nice weather is here...