I'm generally a pretty positive person, however I do have my moments of utter despair.. as most do. Last week I had a bit of a meltdown and a friend was there for me. Not to be my shoulder to cry on, because quite frankly, I've done enough crying over the last many months... but to be the person who (despite how much I hated it at the time) told me to quit being a baby, put on my big girl panties and look for solutions instead of excuses. I am summarizing of course, but that's about the gist of it.
I, of course am not good at being told what to do and had to go sulk about it a bit before admitting that he was right and that I wasn't getting anywhere sitting around feeling sorry for myself.
Most of the time I'm a pretty upbeat, positive person. I'm usually the one that others come to for encouragement, hugs, the "there, there it will be okay" speech. However, it has been tough with everything that's gone on in the last few months. Tough to maintain any sort of positive thinking despite my repeated readings of Tony Robbins' literature and "I think I can, I think I can" mantras. But, I'm trying. Most days.
My children and I don't live together at the moment and that's tough. I saw them yesterday and once again marvelled at the miracles that are my children. They are kind, funny, thoughtful, good looking (if I do say so myself) individuals. I haven't been the most conventional mother in the world, so when I see how seemingly well-adjusted my children are, it makes me feel pretty good about my parenting skills.
I reconnected with my best friend from college.. Avril.. last week. It's crazy how we practically picked up where we left off. I'm not sure either of us are where we thought we'd be 20+ years ago.. but it's pretty terrific to have someone with whom you immediately have that easiness of friendship. And she is just one of many wonderful people in my life.. she's just the most recent re-addition.
I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
So despite all the negatives in my life, there are a lot of positives. Some interesting opportunities on the horizon... the love of my children and family and friends. Things are not super freakin' fantastic at the moment, but they will be again. And I try to maintain these thoughts, but it's tough. It's very easy to get down on yourself and only focus on the negative.
But, every once in a while, something happens that puts things into perspective. This morning on Twitter, a few people re-tweeted about a woman who discovered last week that her son has leukemia. They found out the same week as his second birthday. You can read her story here.
I don't know this family. I don't even know the woman's name (I couldn't find it on the blog..) but my heart goes out to her and her family.. particularly her little boy. He faces 3 years of chemotherapy. His prognosis is good, apparently.... but still.
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice. - Meister Eckhart
I've often been heard to utter "Things could always be worse". And they could. My children are healthy. I have great friends and family who love me despite all my irritating habits, constant mocking, sporadic drama and frequent ineptitude. I still need a job, but hey.. I'm not living in my car .. well, not just yet, anyway.
So today I am thankful. For many things. But mostly for all the little blessings. And all the good people that keep me (relatively) sane.
Life: I think it's getting better.
Love: I love you all!
Pants: Still in pajama pants. Next question?
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